○ Short Why This Review :I want more people to like board gaming... this bad game turns people off board gaming.Run, .. run very fast... don't say you weren't warned.○ Short Synopsis :Way, way, way too much luck for such a long, laborious, & way overpriced game (for $68+ w expansion, you can get one or more games that are way, way, way more fun.)○ Why This Review :Pre-pandemic, I ran the largest irl board gaming group in NJ... I think board games are a healthy way to have fun & socialize, and I would love for board gaming to become even more popular.Catan is a dated game, that easily turns meeples off gaming; and should 'never' be used as an intro to board gaming game. But even if you're not new to gaming, you shouldn't waste your time & money on this game.○ Synopsis :Catan pretty much fails at every level, & only excels in two categories:• Schadenfreude• Masochism○ Detailed Review:So let's take a tour of all the failures :#1 Failure :-)) Way, way, way too much luck for the length of the game!Games with a heavy luck component aren't inherently bad "per se"... to each their own, no?But, "in general", games with heavy luck are shorter, games with less luck are longer. This also tends to mirror the goals of the game for the different player demographics. Short/lucky/light gamers aren't looking for complex rules and/or playing experiences .. they want a light fun experience (usu while waiting for another game and/or while doing something else.) Conversely, long/strategic/heavy gamers are usually looking for minimal luck, because they want their decisions to matter & they want their investment in time to be worth it.Catan broken no matter which way you look at it... it's a luck game that's too long, or it's a strategy game with too much luck. There's luck in the dice rolling for resources, there's luck in which development cards you draw (no choice), and if all the players are equal level - good luck with the completely broken trading mechanism. Have a great strategy?.. managed to get lumber & brick on an 8!.. ? ... watch the Schadenfreude of the other players as 8 fails to get rolled during the course of a game! ? ... so, not only are you having a miserable time, but because these critical resources are now constrained, watch as the whole game slows to a crawl & trading becomes non-existent.#2 Failure :-)) No catch-up mechanism...So after 30 min, you realize you've 60 min to go & no chance of winning... does this sound like fun to you?.. if yes, well I did say this game excelled in Masochism .. if not, well, there's probably another person turned off board gaming ?I'm not saying that every game needs to have a catch-up mechanism, nor am I saying that every game which does, does it well. The closest Catan has, is the trading mechanism... but that's not a good catchup mechanism, as it only works with equally talented & advanced gamers that can see the weighted value of a trade .. (and of course, even if they do weight it correctly luck can completely upend any careful planning). Plus, the more restricted trading is, the slower the game; which if you're not in a position where you can actually win, just makes the game more painful.#3 Failure :-)) Various mechanics "were" cutting edge...You might think this is a positive, and if you traveled back in time, it was. But another way to think of it, in today's terms; many of the mechanics were an "early alpha" release. And many, many games have taken the mechanics in Catan and tweaked/evolved/re-combined them to make much, much better games.#4 Failure :-)) Some mechanics don't really work...The trading is the biggest failure in Catan... there's no real structure given to it, & the resources are so scarce it makes trading painful at best. What success there can be, is completely up to the player "group", and not wrt the game. And in a cutthroat game, of equal level players, trading often falls apart completely contributing to the length of the game.The board layout (when done randomly) is often unbalanced ... you can often determine "who's in the running" & who's not simply by this alone. So imagine playing a 90 minute game, & having almost no chance to win due to skill, right from the start!.. I've seen a player there, & they were so frustrated, I never saw them board game again.The "robber" makes a bad game worse by having the players attack one another... and most games aren't fun with this aspect as an aside, unless the act of attacking other players is directly designed to be fun (The Dragon & Flagon) comes to mind. And since the robber is on a 7, it's the most frequent action.## History :-)) Ok, here's where Catan has value.Do you like to goto Museums?.. Do you like to use old 8-bit tech, to relive the "Glory Days" of your youth?.. Ok then there's no doubt Catan, like the Neanderthal or the Dodo, have a place in history. One could argue, it was the 'first' mainstream euro board game to reach zeitgeist in pop culture.So while it deserves a place in history, as does Monopoly & it's 275 million copies (as of 2015), that doesn't make it a good game worth playing in modern times.## Honorable Mention :-)) But what about the expansions?...One of the common refrains I hear from meeples who've drank the Catan Kool-Aid is that, "ok, granted there are some aspects of the game that aren't that great; but the expansions help."First, I really dislike a game where it 'requires' an expansion... when that's the case, the base game should just include the expansion. Secondly, you're throwing more money after bad; Catan is already overpriced (MSRP: $55.00, but usu seasonally averaging $32 or $46) plus then either of the two commonly recommended/overpriced expansions of Cities & Knights (MSRP: $55.00, but usu seasonally averaging $37 or $43) or Seafarers Expansion (MSRP: $55.00, but usu seasonally averaging $36 or $44). To them, I challenge, you're telling me that for $68+ the 'best' you can do for gaming value is Catan + Expansion?.?..Also I will note that even the most fervent Catan cultist when giving the above defense, will say "help" & not "fix"... so in the end, you're looking at $68+ for a "meh" ? game.** $68+ :-)) Hmmm...This is off the top of my head...TransAmerica $33Armadora $20Love Letter $9Sushi Go! $6... not a definitive, list, just top of the head stuff / first thing to pop in my mind... but way more fun, & all of which are better for beginners.** Only saving grace :-)) It comes with two dice...Here's my recommendation, take the two dice, & everyone rolls off... highest total wins. In case of tie, all repeat the roll (go catchup mech!) until only one player has the highest total. Then make a cool game with the components, and/or use the components to replace missing pieces from other games.Was it fun?.. I don't know, but at least you saved 89 minutes of your life for a game, after which you'll ask yourself, "was it fun", and probably still have the same average answer of "meh" ?.I'll end with a favorite quote of mine...“A strange game. The only winning move is not to play.” -- Joshua/WOPR -- WarGames (1983)
